I’m away from home right now, visiting old friends, and I don’t have my laptop charger so I am posting something short today from my phone.

When I was 18, I made a YouTube video (my first one actually which you can watch yourself by clicking on the YouTube icon if you’re viewing this on a desktop) where I discussed my desire to attain perfection physically.

I wanted this so bad because unfortunately I didn’t have a flat stomach throughout puberty and I thought I was pretty unhealthy. I wasn’t physically very active during those years and the fat took a while to burn off. Even though the adipocytes shrunk quite a bit and I did indeed attain a flat stomach after a couple years of weird diets, I still had some tiny rolls (this is the body dysmorphia speaking now) that were vestiges of my past.

The point is I thought 6% body fat and looking like an athlete was what women wanted. It is important for men to know how to get the ladies because that’s the point of life biologically and well people respect you subconsciously for doing so.

If you google search the question I am attempting to answer, you will find articles that look at data from surveys where women are asked to choose physiques they prefer. Generally a lean body without too much muscle is the ideal for a woman. The problem is that men tend to become narrow minded with data like this and forget all the other things women like (character, smell, testosterone and facial characteristics for example).

Biologically again, males are hard wired to place greater emphasis on the female body in choosing a mate than the other way around. But we have to consider societal influences too.

So judging by surveys done in Western nations, you will see that indeed women do love the Brad Pitt body – not very large muscularly but lean and well-proportioned. But I can find a woman easily who isn’t attracted to Brad Pitt’s body and will think it’s too lean. These surveys won’t tease out how chronic exposure to these bodies, by men who were the ones who placed an emphasis on it initially, influences what women now prefer either.

Similarly you can research the converse question and find surveys that show that men do love skinny girls with a BMI of 20, which is on the low side. We have to ask how chronic exposure of thin female bodies has influenced the way men see women’s bodies. A little bit of flab on Marylin Monroe at one time in history was no problem but now it has been replaced by skinny-legs Kate Upton-type models. Society evolves, but biology remains the same, so not every male finds Kate Upton attractive. I prefer some meat on the thighs, because after all, gluteofemoral fat is a sexually dimorphic trait. That means it makes a woman a woman, in one reductionist sense.

Continuing with the media’s influence now, those people less exposed to it, or perhaps resistant to it’s influence, may even prefer fatter bodies that each sex these days feels less confident with. There’s really nothing wrong with being muscular or skinny or whatever, but we should make sure we are in touch with reality. Both men and women think the opposite sex wants a more muscular and a more trim physique, respectively, when that is not the case at all.

I’ve seen several covers of magazines that include males and females who definitely aren’t too lean, but on fitness magazines you will always find a body type on the cover that I suspect most people would not be attracted to.

And that’s why I posted this on IG the other day.

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What seems clear that men have dictated what the ideal male physique is, not females. Males have dictated what the ideal female physique is too, which is why feminists are mad and support the health at every size concept. But we have also caused women to not like their bodies inadvertently, even if we already do. And we have due to insecurities and fewer outlets for expressing masculinity come to an incorrect conclusion about what the perfect male body looks like.

So in conclusion, the perfect male body exists only to perfectionists, the ones most prone to developing eating disorders. But an attractive male body is definitely not characterized by abdominal obesity, but doesn’t have to have a six pack, which can even intimidate some women. The shoulders will be broad, and that will be determined by genetics and testosterone but can be shaped through weight training, and the face will also signal high testosterone levels and there is nothing you can do to change that. How much does it matter? As much as you think it does.